about an hour ago both babies were simultaneously sleeping…i looked at the clock and gave myself a half hour to snooze before i would get up, make bottles, clean up lunch, and get ready to feed and entertain the babies again. 30 minutes. that’s all i wanted. 30 minutes of quiet to close my eyes and to recharge. before i closed my eyes i literally said out loud, “please God, let them sleep….just 30 minutes longer.”
no joke, just after i said that quick prayer, joshua started crying. not fussing….crying. I jumped off the couch, gave him his paci, and laid back down. i threw on the big comfy blanket and within seconds, CRYING. in order to keep his little sister from waking, I ran to the swing, swooped him up, and brought him to the couch with me.
it took him a few moments, but after some fighting it, he was out….laying peacefully next to mama. i quickly fell asleep and before I knew it, my 30 minutes was up. my alarm went off and it was time to go get chores done. i quietly tip toed away from the couch where he laid (no worries, i made sure he was safe)…
i now have all my little jobs done and i am ready for their next feeding and play time. as i finished cleaning dishes I peaked over and thought…”hmmm….maybe I could go back to the couch and snuggle with him again???” and then i realized what a ridiculous idea that was….the chance at waking a perfectly calm, quiet, and peaceful baby. no way.
so, instead, i sit here….and i soak up the memory from just 30 short minutes ago….the memory of smelling my little sack of potatoes (Joshua) next to me….the memory of his quiet, steady breaths, the memory of the stillness that was felt in my house. and i’m thankful for that.
just a few short weeks ago, i don’t know that i could have enjoyed or appreciated those moments. but thankfully, the fog has lifted, and i can finally FEEL again. life with two babies is, at best, extremely overwhelming…..but also filled with this sense of responsibility and joy that i don’t know i would have ever known until these two entered my world. so while there have been SEVERAL weeks…months where i only knew pure exhaustion and being overwhelmed, the moments of sweet, sweet joy and happiness are starting to outweigh the stressful ones.
that…..that is what makes all of these a beautiful thing. the journey is hard…and i knew it would be….but while it’s hard, it’s also one of the sweetest ones i’ve experienced with my little family.
all of that said…this was a moment i had with joshua today…but don’t be mistaken….sophia gets PLENTY of snuggle time…hers are more during the hours of 1 am-5 am 🙂 just recently i have experienced the same sense of gratitude for the quiet moments i get to spend with my sweet baby girl….i didn’t appreciate them all that much before recently.
i am so thankful i have found these moments.